Clearly yesterday was a slow but hilarous news day because Chuck Norris by default is hilarious. Here’s celebuzz’s interview with Michael Welch:
When we spoke with Twilight star Michael Welch earlier this week, we made an awesome realization—he appeared in an episode of Texas Walker Ranger back in 1999.
Well, of course we HAD to ask the obvious questions about the seemingly invisible Chuck Norris and our favorite sparkly vampire Edward Cullen:
Who smells better? “Robert Pattinson…he smells like heaven.”
Who has a better beard? “You gotta go Chuck Norris with the beard. Nothing beats that thing.”
Who looks better in tight jeans? “That becomes a matter of taste at that point because you can’t beat Walker in a tight pair of pants, but Rob… I guess I gotta go with Rob [laughs].”
Who’d win in a fight? “I have to go with Edward Cullen, although you know Walker was pretty invincible, but I don’t think that Walker’s fractured slow-mo could save him against Edward. In fact, in real life Rob’s no slouch in the ring. He could take somebody, but Chuck, I don’t quite think so.”
So now the question is…ladies… Robert Pattinson or Chuck Norris? Don’t rush to a decision just yet… listen to what each candidate has to offer:
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he check his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist!
Robert Pattinson Facts (straight from the horses mouth):
- Out of nervousness. During interviews I’m literally shitting my pants.
- I took half a Valium and then went into this thing—and all this stuff happened…A quarter. A quarter of a Valium. I tried to do it for another audition, and it just completely backfired—I was passing out.
- He tries not to go out if he can avoid it. Stays home, watches movies, microwaves. Mostly, though, he reads about himself on the Internet…And he admits to reading it, which is the really weird part. He reads the gossip blogs and the Twilight fan fiction.
- I went to some pub and then went crying all the way home. And I got into my dog’s bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog. I woke up in the morning, and the dog was looking at me like, ‘You’re a fake.’
Perhaps you need a little campaign schwag to show whose side you’re on??
available at 80stees.com
(available no where, I was bored and played in photoshop 
)
So there you have it ladies….now who are you going to vote for?
Personally I’ll take Rob because he’s bat shit crazy like the rest of us
As if you even have to ask. I’d pick Rob over any celebrity. Even my husband thinks I’d leave him for “Edward”. He he. My husband doesn’t know about my Robsession.
haha yea of course I don’t need to ask, the post was just an excuse to make fun of chuck norris and ridiculous news
(and a chance for me to play with photoshop — I’m obsessed with that pic of Rob!)
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